It had been decades since Sam Winchester had died in battle. Nothing she or Dean had done could bring him back. It was over.

The memories of that night were engraved in Ruby’s brain, making it impossible for her to forget. She remembered sitting in the hotel room they were sharing, drinking herself into oblivion, curled in one of his jackets. She had cried, screamed and cried some more all night long, a void forming itself where her heart used to be.

Thirty-five years later, things hadn’t gotten any better. She had no idea whether Dean was still alive or not and if he was, where he was. She, on the other hand, roamed aimlessly around the world, killing every monster she could.

She avoided sleep like the plague as it always brought her to a place where she had been happy. But, when she needed to give in, even only for a few restless hours, she’d put on one of his old t-shirts even if it had been years since they stopped smelling like him. Everytime she woke up in a cold bed, tears streaming down her face. She missed his arms around her, she missed his regular breathing on the back of her neck that sent shivers down her spine but, above all that, she just missed him.

Today marked his thirty-sixth death anniversary and, just like the thirty-five past July 17th, Ruby went to the cemetary where he was burried, right next to his mother. She set the flowers down at the foot of his tombstone and laid down on the grass over his grave. She gazed at the stars only for a few seconds before tears welled up in her eyes and started running down the sides of her face. “I miss you Sammy,” she choked up, clutching the grass.

From afar, one man watched her, hiding in the shadows like he had done every year. He watched, completely helpless, as she screamed her pain to the sky, her sobs filling the emptiness of the night.

They had given each other everything they had and now she was left with the pain of his loss for as long as she’d live. They had plunged head first in their relationship, aware that the world was going to be against them. But now she was going to be an empty shell forever as no man could ever compare to Sam Winchester.

1. iwantanewshirt reblogged this from dark-lady-in-training
2. sammygetyourgun liked this
3. dark-lady-in-training posted this